As I am writing tis down, I am in class which my mind not here at all. I’m still feeling lost and not sure wat I did was the right way a not. Wat I did was to search google.com for “ how to love” and click “ I’m feeling lucky”, wat I found was tis….http://www.wikihow.com/Love. The more I read, the more I feel tat maybe I am making a huge mistake but it has been the same mistake I did few times. The website says tat “if we are finding for trouble, we will definitely find it”. I believe tat is true and I feel guilty because I did jus tat. If I were to turn back time, I might jus make the same mistake again because tat is who I am. I need to give myself time to rethink of how I have been thinking of “love”.

The day I said those words, and the person tat I feel I can turn to, was my mom. I open up to my mom and she comfort me. At that point, I feel tat her words are true and I express my feeling towards her. She said many meaningfull things and it is the fact. I myself feel tat way and thinking of moving on…

Until today tat I feel tat maybe it was my problem as well but it might just be too late as I have already gave the person I love wit so many mistrust. The website says tat “If you feel any doubt of love your partner has for you, make sure that your suspicions are grounded in reality. If you hurt your partner as a result of undeserved mistrust, he/she may end up doubting both your love for them and theirs for you. “.

I may have let my friends and my mom down after wat there have to say about my relationship but deep down I feel tat maybe I have” twisted” the story as how I wan it to be without knowing it myself until I have cool down.

Of coz I am very thankful to my friends and my mom for being here for me. I gave it many though and if I fall, at least I noe u all are there for me.

I think tat if I understand a bit more about love now and feel like patching up, would it be too late? Maybe the feelings towards me is not there anymore but if maybe u r reading tis, maybe I still have hope…

Valentine Day is full of lovey dovey events but both of us make it more than that. We were able to add in fun (present hunting which both of us need to buy for each other gift in MV in an 1hour and half), excitement ( conflicts), relaxing(walk in the park and movie), entertainment( giving each other nice surprise), scenery ( View Small Genting wit sparkling juice) and of coz love( everything add together). Here is the things bought from my date....

Started off is to find the present inside my car itself, the first item i found is a empty, so i continued looking.... and i found...

This, a box full wit stars and a note

"….. Ops, Finding present for V-day is it? This is not la….. But there’s something “big” inside. Go look for it…."
and so i cont. looking and actually is the...

"DO NOT OPEN" quote from the box

box tat is said it is not for me... haahha... lame? but i am touch with the effort i am more touch with wat is inside the box. There is lotz of heart shapes inside wit a note

"….. There’s 520 folded hearts inside my box, I folded by myself for you….. This is my first time celebrating V-day with my really own love ones….. Wish both of us will love each other 4ever."

Thanks for the very wonderful V.tine present which make this not only an unforgetable day but also showing me how much u r willing to do for me^^

Thanks for the Hunting Present as well which is very cute, everytime it move, my head also move. ahahahaha

520 to u

PS: i wrote "1st V.Tine Nite in my life wit u, happiest nite^^" in my msn nick and i got responds

colint***** says:
omg gelinye nickname *vomit*
jessie_*** says:
Your personal msg very yok ma ar..

Evil bitches^^ but special thanks to both of u.

This few days have been like clubbing everynite and back home around 5am, this few days have also open my eyes on somethings and eventually make me realise there are many things that get me jealous and envy but as i tried to be more open minded about it, it came to my sense that life is much better. So wat if i'm single and the rest of my friends are in a relationship? So wat if my friends got laid and i went home alone? So wat if life is just a bitch?

Many thinggs in life we will be envy of someone else stuff, gf, bf, watever it is but thinking in another way, they are other ppl who are far pity then me and life is more bitchy for them. My life may not be as perfect as some ppl but at least i have friends, real good bunch of friends who are always here for me. Yea, maybe sexual stuff my friends cant give me but, can settle myself lar.

Of coz i still hope one day i will eventually found someone i can share my life with but maybe not the time is not here. My taste on my desire person is changing, i don't jus need someone adorable but only care about ownself but i need more then that. i dont like it anymore driving around fetching the person i love everywhere just because i have a car. i dont like anymore to give face everytime the person i love is piss off. I want someone who i like and also able to be in the same shoe as me.

It seems like yesterday that we were together, hand in hand, arm in arm together talking about how greatful we have for each other that things happen like it should but why izzit that it was not a hapi ending at all? i jus.......

" everytime i am thiking of u,
I just dunno wat to do,
Pinch myself went i am dreaming of u,
Making sure u can love me too,
I would slip away,all my hapi days,
So i'm acting cool,
Went i am feeling blue,
To show i am thru with u"

miss u a lot and jus cant let go of it.

Being in this world like for quite some time( 21years actually) and i feel that somethings cant be change or be force. Life is short, jus let it go and continue with my life...

Why did u leave me like this? Why izzit that everytime things seems to go smoothly and eventually something happen? Why izzit that i fall for u? Why is life so unfair....

I noe how it feels to get betray by someone u love coz it happen to me... not jus once or twice yet i nvr learn my lesson because i wan to fall in love but no matter how, the result will jus be the same. Izzit a curse? i wonder....

I miss tis pic and the time where everything was not so complicated....

Jus got the mood of blogging and though of writing some stuff i feel like saying out but dunno where to express it. It has been a rocking journey in tis past few months. Broke up a few times, found out stuff i rather not know it, did badly for my exams and assingments and some other stuff.



Have u ever fall in love with someone that u should not have or already know that that person is a player or is actually having a relationship but eventually as u found out, the person says to u, " Actually i already wanted to tell u" or that person dont give a damn to u anymore and didnt even say goodbye?



I have and it was not good. It all started with some happy fairy tales story and u though to yourself " i think i found the one" and everything was smooth, the eye contact was there, the feelings was there, the communication was perfect, the night was perfect and you though nth would go wrong at all.... BOOM, i found out that i was jus the 3rd party. But inside your heart, u still hope one day, the person come back to u.



I guess that happen to many many people before but i always believe in karma and learn to just take it like a man and move on wit my life.

" Have u ever fall in love before?"... " yea, onces... "

Yesterday my friend was asking me

Friend: er, jus wanna ask, have u date before?
Edmund: yea why?
Friend:Coz i nvr see u with a gal before
Edmund: maybe coz i have not been dating seen...

Until today that i though i found someone, i dont have the courage to ask her and i guess it is too late. Anyway, this was my fantasy first date for her on the day full of love, 14th Feb 2006

I though i would send a mail to fly fm to ask them to help me with my date on their 'Flirty at 10' but still dont have the guts... and i...With a rose i am holding that could say a thousand words, with a night full of magic, i was at her place outside her hse waiting for her. She would dress to her best yet simple, feeling jus cant be writen how gorgeus she was but i would throw away my rose jus to get 101roses for her jus to have her to walk out from her hse again. As i drove her to a place full of magic...

"Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey"
from At the Beginning by Richard Marx & Donna Lewis